This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
