sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
