There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YAS. BRING CRAB.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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