Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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