If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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