I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I would ride that face into the sunset
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
