i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize