Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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