I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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