He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
