You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize