Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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