Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
