11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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