This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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