Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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