I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
