so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
