i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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