it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
