So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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