i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year