The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
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Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs