In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today