ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.