I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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