dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
