Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
