you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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