So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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