I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
