please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
