so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
