...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize