i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
