We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do vagina's smell?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
