The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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