what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
