She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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