windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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