I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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