omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
