Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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