she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize