dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
zippers are such a cool invention
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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