I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
