i just identified you from a description of your pipe
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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