fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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