I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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