her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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