You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
