Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
