Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
