i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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