I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
