I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
