Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
