I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
