Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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