Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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