I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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