i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
