I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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